So hurt..

i dun know how it start..i dun even know how it will turn to be like that..and i dun even know how to overcome it..it hurts me until i can't even smile just for a while..

it hurts me..! yes it hurts me..! im torn apart now.! im miserable! my heart is upside down now..! it tear my heart when this thing happen..! im not strong enough to stand alone..i might fall down as quick as i can..

i always said that Im heartless so that i won't feel any hurts..but the reality is i care too much until i hurt too much..

it's true:

"don't trust too much don't care too much because that too much can hurt you so much.."

but the reality of me is:

i am that typical girl that always trust too much..care too much..yes that too much always hurt me sooooo much..!! i am that stupid girl..!!

i have a huge fight with him..at first i din want to care so much having fight with him..but until some point that i couldn't denied my heart..i must admit a little fight can cause me pain and hurt which i can't take it anymore..

how could this happen to me?? i used to be strong girl but now im a weakest person in the world..! and i am the stupid person when it comes to love..! i don't even know how to become a good girlfriend ever just like other girl..

i might end up alone someday..now i can't even wearing my smile on my face..:'( 

i might smile a lot laugh a lot but deep down inside there's part of me that feel so hurt and left out..so hurt..

ohhh please give me strengths to overcome this hurt...:'( i really really really hurt soooo much right now..! i couldn't stop this tears..:'( i need u.. i just need u only..

Im missing..~

Yesss im missing..! missing too many tv shows..!! I miss watching supernatural..oohh Dean Winchester..how could ever forget your show..seems like im missing a lot of episodes of supernatural..now it's already 8 season..and in my laptop only got until 5 season..but then the 5th season is not complete yet..

ohhh my..! i miss lots of the episodes dy..all i can remember is that how Lucifer manage to get away from the hell..

I miss the walking dead also..!!!! It surprise me that the walking dead season 4 will be premiere on OCTOBER 2013..!!! yaaahhhooooo...!!!!!! i can't wait for it..seriously..i like that tv show..!!haha

Hoping that this new season will be more horror than before..! hehe

So i just done watching the vampire diaries season 4..very not syok when bonnie died..so sad she died in this season and left jeremy come back from death..but the happiest moment is that elena finally reveal her true feeling that she is not sorry for loving damon..oouuuhhh..such a romantic scene!! And left stefan broken heart..but i prefer elena with damon rather than stefan..SORRY STEFAN, UR NOT MY FAVOURITE..! haha

BUT hell yeah klaus is definitely match with caroline! i don't find any reason why she should be with tyler..

ok now i can be a director to any series or movies shows..haha

Actually im kind of bored coz i don't have any movies or drama that i can watch..huhu

My friends said running man is good and funny..but i never watch that..hmmmmm.....

Now im feel so sleepy..so early i feel sleepy now only 6.20pm..aiiggooo..

xoxo, chell

Finally..it's DONE..!!

After run through a week of orientation, finally it's done! Officially finish..! BUUUTTTTT the studies just about to begin..so don't think it's over..! haha 

I can say that for this time orientation is quite good..it's just the student quite naughty..really2 naughty until make me and my other colleagues high blood..! haha not really high blood..it's just they are still controllable yet naughty..i dun even know if the students enjoy their orientation or not but we all tried our best to make their orientation as fun as we could...so i just hope that they enjoy..

I can't remember all of the students name..only few of the i remember..poor brain i have! sometimes i dun even know why i have easily forgot something that very easily to remember..i dun know whether i have an EASY-FORGET DISEASE in my brain..or erasers live in my brain and quietly erase my memory..if so i would have forgot any memories that i had in this world..oohhh nooo..!! For example yaa... when my boss talk to me to do this and that, at that time i can get..but the moment i walk out from the door that's when i forgot and try to remember what was miss asked me to do just now..??!!()&^#@^%^& Strange isn't it?? but it happen many times..!!even when talk with my colleagues also after that i also forgot..i dun even know why..!! sometime when i talk to my colleagues something bout work, when they ask me back i can't remember the things i said back then..i feel so bad with myself..im afraid people will eventually think that im nothing with just some poor memory..! that's my weakness..:-(

Orientation week..! duuuhh..

Just so you know im at the office right now..! yeaapp..blogging in the office..i have never get enough time to updating any in my blog during my work hour..haha

Seriously, i got time that's why i have time to update my blog...after lunch, i have so much time until i don't know what to do..even office got wi-fi already yet i don't know what to surf anymore..FACEBOOK..?? i also get bored.. YOUTUBE..?? i dunno want to search anymore..hmmm...

When i got a lot of works to do..that's when i required internet to search info..but no wi-fi available..BUT if don't have any works..that's when the wi-fi suddenly available and i dun even know what to do with it..strange huhh?? haha

Seriously, this 2nd batch students really soooooooo naughty..!! reaaalllyy make all of the staff high blood..!! luckily im not a VAMPIRE that can compel them to listen quietly and obey every orders from the staffs..!! if i am a vampire..surely i will drink their blood..!! hahaha i dun want la drink their blood it's not good also..hahaha

Now im searching for the existing of real vampire in the world..hmm....quiet interesting if i can be a Psychic Vampire..! haha joking!

BTW..im so lazy to type already..got to go to see the students..the orientation resume..~

xoxo chell

Sayonara Ganmo..!

Around 5.50pm..when i want to check my hamster i saw Ganmo lying down on her cage. I was curious because i did called her name many times.."Ganmo..! Ganmo..! Ganmo..!"

Still...she didn't make any move. That's when i used a ruler to disturb her..but the only thing that i found out was that she also didn't move..and most of all i can feel her stiff body..that's when i knew she's DEAD...!!!

Yes she's dead..!! Ganmo is dead..!! although she's just a small animal yet i love her..!! actually Ganmo is my sister's pet..but i also love Ganmo so much..!! i watch her when she was just like my finger small until she became big just like my palm..

It's sad when i have to see she's died like that..:-( i don't even know whether she have a disease or what..because yesterday she still fine..playing with her wheel..and i also bathe her..It's really2 heartbreaking moment when me and my sister have to bury her..!!

Ohhhh...i really2 miss Ganmo now..!! she's more active compare to my hamster..

Now i miss her even more...!!! this picture was taken last year on November..

What a hectic week..

FYI..this week is much hectic,..!! really huh???

Well we have to be prepared for the 2nd intake of our students..so that's why we have a lot of works to do..and when i said a lot of works..means that really really a lot..!!! ok...

Plus one of my colleague, Iela apply on leave because she have an emergency matter...so me and my other colleague, Ichi have to help to do her works. We actually volunteer ourselves to do her works because we understand she have to go through a rough matter..(which i cant mention in here..) so quite lots of works yet we manage to finish it...oh yeah btw i hope my friend Iela will be strong facing that matter..

And another matter that concern me is that for a week..my boss is not around..!! it's not a happy mood ok..!! it's a sad mood..because for a whole week we all have to be our on feet..huuuuhhh *sigh*

What to do la..have to survive even no boss around...

Last but not least..actually im tired dy typing here ok..out now..! byeeee...


xoxo, chell

Those memories with EI...

This was the students of Eisteddfod Institute...kind of miss the students actually so i edit the photo..

Kind of quiet and lonely at the office coz there were no student anymore except the SLDN student..but they also got work to do at the hotel..

well..there are some of them still keep in touch with me..although they already finish their studies..yet the institute kind of missed them..they are our 1st badge student whaattt...!!

Whatever it is..we all have to prepare all the paper work and everything for the 2nd intake of our students..

and tomorrow is the interview session with the 2nd intake students..nervous but excited..!! hahahaa

that's all for now..cannot type long..my hand is tired..hahaha

xoxo chell

If i was a...

VAMPIRE..!!!!

yeesss...!! if i was a vampire...i can be immortal...!!hahahaaaa im watching too much vampire movies recently...now..tengah layan tv show THE VAMPIRE DIARIES SEASON 4...

How i wish there's a vampire like Damon exist in this world and fall for me and would protect me as human being..or maybe a cool vampire guy like Niklaus that actually would do everything for me even he has a cold hearted...whatsoever...

The best part is that if i can be a vampire...how i wish i can turn off my humanity so i won't feel any pain or hurts...i can be just like Elena...doesn't really care about what will happen..didn't care for love that would hurt human so much... and most of all..i want to feel nothing when it comes being hurt by others..

So who can make me a vampire..?? hahahahaaa..no wonder i am so alergic to lights..or sunlight..

maybe im good at being vampire..???am i right?? aarrgghhh...whateverrrr...

so i want to continue watch vampire diaries..but i have many things to do...but i still want to watch it..hmmm...

xoxo chell

Whatever so ever..!

The less i care..the more i happier.....ok!! that's the spirit that i wanted for myself..!! i should've ignore whatever feelings that inside me..!!

WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT...??!!!

Actually, i've been downloading the vampire diaries season 4 since yesterday. I had watched it until episode 9 back then..so i continue download the next episode..til now..i just have to wait another last 2 episode..

I've watched episode 10,11,12,13,and 14...i kinda like elena and damon's relationship..!! yess i like them both together..it was much romantic..but when elena with stefan..i don't feel passion about their relationship..! passion huh..!! hahahahaaaa

but what makes me sad is that jeremy died in episode 14..!! i wanted to help him if i could but i couldn't..even it's only tv show..but i don't want him died..!! jeremy is cute and handsome and tough..i like jeremy so much..!! hahahaaa

not to mention that...i like damon..!! ahaaaahhh..!! he is very hot guy..!!

well..i want to continue watch the next episode..but i have to cook now..got to go now...

xoxo,chell